Archive - Nov 15, 2009

2012 Takes A Staggering $225 Million First Weekend

2012 boxoffice

How long does it take to recoup the cost of a CGI porn laden movie? Roland Emmerich’s 2012 managed it in one weekend with a staggering $225 million box office.

Produced for $200 million, 2012 took an estimated $65 million at the US box office, making it the seventh biggest November opener ever. Proving the value of markets outside the United States, the international (non-US box office) for 2012 came in at a neat $160 million.

For more see our 2012 Movie Review.

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  3. 2012 Movie teaser trailer



New Miley Cyrus Dead Rumors Surface

miley cyrus dead

It wouldn’t be a quality weekend without one fake celebrity death, and one of the golden oldies claiming Miley Cyrus is dead has resurfaced.

The latest Miley Cyrus dead rumor comes complete (like most of them do) with a car crash story. The claim is that Miley Cyrus was on her way to film the Hannah Montana show and “was in a terrible car accident and died.”

Miley is said to have been struck by a large truck that ran a red light traveling at a speed of about 55 mph.

Like every similar incarnation of the rumor previously, it simply isn’t true. Miley Cyrus is not dead, Miley Cyrus has not died, end of story.

Related posts:

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Video: Dane Cook’s “Isolated Incident” peanut butter smack

dane cook peanut butter smack

Dane Cook is one of the most polarizing comedians on the internet.

Cook has a huge, rabid fanbase, and many people were up late last night watching a small show Cook did (30 attendees) first aired in May, entitled Isolated Incident. One of the most searched terms through the night was peanut butter smack, or alternately, peanut butter smack… how do you like me now, biznitch? Both terms refer to Cook’s story about surfing youporn, and a video he found disturbing and funny.

Personally, I don’t find Cook nearly as talented at Louis CK or Lewis Black, but he certainly appeals to a douchier younger crowd. You can watch the seven minute peanut butter smack clip below, but it would be worrying at this point if you’ve never been exposed to any Dane Cook- he’s everywhere. (NSFW language, humor and crude sexual references abound.)

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2012 Movie Review: CGI Porn For The Masses

2012 movie review

Roland Emmerich returns to the big screen with a sequel of sorts to his hit blockbusters Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. Some reviews will mention Godzilla, but given how few people saw that movie, it shouldn’t be considered because 2012 is the really the end of the trilogy that started with Independence Day.

My expectations going into the movie were mixed: on one hand, reviews said it is what it is, and it does it well, while others said it’s somewhere close to Transformers 2, but without the soft porn provided by Megan Fox.

I’m happy to report that it was the former. Unlike Transformers 2, 2012 shamelessly suffers its lack of serious plot and acting by overwhelming the senses with CGI porn; Transformers 2 looks like something my son plays in his bedroom by comparison.

John Cussack takes the role as the lead in the trilogy in the footsteps of Bill Pullman and Dennis Quaid before him, but brings a decidedly Gen X take to the role. Here’s a character in his mid to late 30s, divorced with a hot ex wife and some kids who struggles to keep up with his now ex-family.

Fortunately…or unfortunately I just described most of the 30 minutes of the movie, well throw in Woody Harelson as a grade A nutter and some global conspiracy theories for good measure. No, Ron Paul didn’t direct, but he would have been proud.

All you need to know about the first 30 minutes is the world is going to end, then the CGI porn flows from about that point, and by god it is the CGI equivalent on Heidi Klum taking it in a twosome…but even hotter.

If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll get some of the rough idea. As a visual treat 2012 is the world ender when it comes to a disaster movie, because no other movie will ever be able to beat the CGI and story concept again: how after all can you beat the end of the world?

If I had to criticize, it’s that Emmerich softly decided only to destroy American and Christian icons, as opposed to being truly global (and unbias) in his vision of the end of the world; apparently he was worried about a jihad or something, which says soft to me.

If you love your CGI, you’ll love 2012. If you want to see a movie with a serious story line, stay well away.

3 1/2 stars.

Related posts:

  1. 2012 Movie Trailer
  2. 2012 Movie teaser trailer
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